a kinder, gentler machine gun hand

Heartfelt PSA 

lazybookreviews:

Stay out of corn mazes, already. Corn, period! Do you not watch television? Movies?

Either you’re going to find a dead body, or you’re going to become a dead body, or there are freaky children hoping to sacrifice you to He Who Walks Between The Rows, or you’re just being distracted by Deatheaters who want to torch your charming ramshackle home, or you’re going to get lost and will need a team of snickering officers and police dogs to get you out.

Is that what you want? Look, if having a rad seasonal experience is so important to you, just drink some roadside hot cider and call it a day.


7 months ago on 13 Oct, 11 | 65  notes
  1. werebee reblogged this from phantomwise
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  10. hollyology reblogged this from angstinmypants and added:
    NO. I LOVE THE CORN MAZE.
  11. tronthedaywalker reblogged this from geekgirlsmash and added:
    It’s not that hard to escape any normal maze. Place hand on wall to the right, do not let hand leave that wall, just...
  12. geekgirlsmash reblogged this from lonelywerewolfgirl and added:
    It’s easy to get out of corn, walk in a straight line through the stalks if need be. Just wear long sleeves/pants to the...
  13. theseworthlessthoughts reblogged this from nanner and added:
    omg the comments at the...are priceless also out here in the country, when
  14. seriouslybananapants reblogged this from lazybookreviews and added:
    friend design his annual corn maze. Despite this, I avoid...place like the plague. Nothing...
  15. dancingbugs said: Last time I got talked into a corn maze, we found out this 7-yr-old was lost in there somewhere. The calls for “Richard! Richard!” still haunt me to this day.
  16. sherlockable reblogged this from lazybookreviews and added:
    corn maze is good for is...play Marco Polo Mulder Scully in. How do